Good morning and happy Sunday.
I’m sitting here drinking my coffee and mulling over a question I ask myself often as I continue building The Nourished Leader.
The question is this:
What would it look like to build a life without burnout and sacrifice?
Over the last couple of years, that question has been my driving force. It’s literally the reason I started The Nourished Leader.
I was tired of feeling like a sacrifice to everything.
Having burned out not once, but twice, forced me to pause and ask myself what it would look like to build a life that isn’t predicated on burnout and sacrifice.
For me, this became an existential question. Burnout simply isn’t an option anymore. Losing vision in my left eye and coming to terms with living with a chronic condition made that reality very clear.
So I began asking:
What does it mean to become a nourished leader?
What would that actually look like?
That’s what we explore here.
Recently I picked up a book that has been making waves online. It has sparked a lot of conversation, and in some cases, a lot of backlash.
The book is Start With Yourself by entrepreneur Emma Grede.
If I had to answer my original question — what does it look like to build a life without burnout and sacrifice — in less than five words, my answer would be this:
Start with yourself.
Now, I understand why the conversation around this book has become so heated.
As someone who teaches emotional intelligence and spends a lot of time thinking about leadership, culture, and systems, I can see why parts of the narrative are landing poorly for many people.
We’re living in a moment where many women — especially ambitious women, multicultural women, and women of color — are reckoning with the promises we were given about success.
We were told that if we worked hard, hustled, earned the degrees, checked the boxes, and did everything right, things would work out.
Many of us did exactly that.
And yet, what many people feel now is disappointment.
Disappointment with the outcomes that followed all that striving.
Disappointment with systems that often depleted us rather than nourished us.
So when someone comes online and says, essentially, work harder, hustle more, it doesn’t land well.
Women are tired. Women are angry. Women are depleted.
And that reaction is understandable.
But there’s something important we have to recognize:
The first step of leadership — especially self-leadership — is learning to tune out the noise.
Social media amplifies noise.
Arguments about someone’s background, their marriage, their schedule, or how many hours they spend with their children — that’s noise.
Getting pulled into those debates is easy. I catch myself doing it sometimes too.
But ultimately, it’s unproductive.
What matters is the principle.
And the principle is this:
You do have to start with yourself.
That truth doesn’t disappear simply because we’ve been hurt, burned out, or disappointed.
It doesn’t disappear because systems have failed us.
And to be clear, I am not saying that hustle is the answer.
I’m also not saying that simply working harder solves everything.
But here’s something worth acknowledging:
Most of us don’t actually mind working hard.
Working hard can feel incredibly good.
There’s something nourishing about putting your hands into something meaningful — thinking deeply, solving problems, creating something, building something.
The issue is not our willingness to work.
The issue is depletion.
The return on our hard work often hasn’t looked the way we were promised it would.
Many of us invested in degrees, credentials, and professional identities only to feel like the payoff never quite arrived.
We sacrificed.
We burned out.
And now we’re trying to reclaim our power.
That’s why the phrase “start with yourself” can feel triggering right now.
But the truth remains:
It does start with us.
That doesn’t mean blaming ourselves.
It means reclaiming our agency.
It means stepping back, tuning out the noise, and asking a different question:
What would it look like to begin again — starting with ourselves?
As I continue reading this book, I’ll share more insights with the Nourished Leader community.
And my invitation is simple: Read it, but read it differently.
Don’t read it through the lens of the author’s lifestyle, aesthetics, or social media narrative.
Read it for the principle.
Because the second step to becoming a nourished leader is this:
Start with yourself.
But the first step?
Tune out the noise.
Tune out the noise about who someone married.
Tune out the noise about their background.
Tune out the noise that distracts from the deeper message.
And instead ask:
How do I start with myself?
Because that’s where power begins.
And that’s how we take it back.
Have a lovely week.
Thank you for reading The Nourished Leader™.
The Nourished Leader™ develops women leaders who rise in uncertainty, command ambiguity, and transform complexity into the power, presence, and position required to lead.
— Natalie R. Legrand
Owner, The Nourished Leader™
What’s Happening
Tuesday Masterclass | April 21 | 4:00–5:30 PM EST
For Financial Literacy Month, I’m sharing my $6,000 - less than 20hrs a week 90-day Uber experiment in Charlotte and what it revealed about bridge income, professional identity, and financial agency during career transitions. Bonus: I’ll also share the exact strategy for making money with Uber in Charlotte, NC.
Women, Money & Self-Trust
A Financial Strategy Clinic
📍 Highland Creek Golf Course
🗓 Monday, May 4
⏰ 10:30 AM
🍽 Lunch provided
Register here: Women, Money, & Self-Trust
